I miss her most in the glow of morning Her warmth now somewhere else I could kiss her until my lips fell off But they have nowhere to fall Her beauty becomes the air Her air becomes my breath And I breathe in her absence Until I also become absent Until I also drive love to my grave To keep myself warm in my death My love will settle over my skin Until my skin is gone And my love will settle the dirt As a hush, a caress, a fertile glow In the mornings that I am gone Pepe, my heart has water in it Heavy from my heat I find it interesting to stay calm And to look at the soft lines To look at the blur and fuzz Of newborn leaves Perspiring their blossoms to the street Some flew through my window New confetti turns to old confetti Instantly And the welcomed gift of life through my window Caught my attention in its streaming hands Snowing empty faces past my sill To softer places than the street But they don’t belong where they won’t disintegrate They don’t belong to me And now I’m in charge of these friendly faces That are dying on colored wool Running their last white lives On my natural floor Oh the faces, I don’t know if they are turned up Or turned down They won’t look at me The shy petals of 58th Street Pepe, sometimes you wouldn’t look at me either Your tiny little head so attached Laying in your turkey position, tucked Little black wrists so limp You’d keep it all to yourself Contained in your cuteness Pushed behind your nugget nose Sparking your spine in gentle black Motionless You moved me And I’d sway as the branches next door Lit up in the explosion of spirits Laughing in the silence of love Doubling over in a crowded heart Exalted in the freedom of you Still Motionless Cutie pie You’d make me jump Much higher than your poking hairs Higher than those few oily ones On your spine, poking God, they’d poke me in a comfort I can’t explain They pet me like the tree across pet me And it was always a surprise I still see you Chou Chou But I don’t have enough of you for the rest of my life Little girl, what do I do? Look at me then. Keep looking at me From your invisibility Maybe now you will look at me You are my shy petal And I won’t dismiss the littlest gifts Little fits Of joy Returning static to the whispering sun A lift a release I am you we are one Chou Chou? Are you looking at me? Then I will place you in me It’s the only thing I can think to do I am going to tuck you in to my fluttering soul You in your turkey position, tucked It’s easy that way And I will hold you dear Maybe love myself more if you are in me I will I do I now cradle you In my name They’ll read about us in the papers, Pep Cat Found Inside Woman We’ll be famous for a little while I hope you can handle that We’ll be known for a little while Until they forget about us But I promise you I will never forget you It would be like forgetting myself Little girl, we are one April 10, 2010 For Pepe Emerald landed like a human embrace Not to the ground, not you, not yet But rather on the front of this Tuesday morning. Angelic your wings, so fine, so sheer. So still. How divine you are, how becoming you are Into a deeper shade of you. Adorning this corner of grace Streaming silver to sudden rest On what will always be yours. Stolid your stance, magnificent, so near. So still. Dignified you turn, and turn into yourself Solace is the peace in you. Copper crowned, your laurels encased Sky to sky to not forget On the face of your soul adored. Calm your presence, heralded, so dear. So still. Elegance about you, to know more about you Creased in carried blue. Lore, a life of infinite trace Passed a child blessed On a whisper your shadow soars. Innocent your regard, so pure, so clear. So still. Exemplified in a moment, the sum of all your moments Cherished and given so few. September 14, 2004 The Cicada For my father, Cedric B. Naudé